During this gift-giving season, a strong sentiment is compelling everyone to give and share their good fortunes. It is an undercurrent made strong by the fact that it has the weight of history and tradition backing it. This is the time when everyone is looking forward to meeting with family and friends to exchange gifts for the holidays.

I saw the evidence this past weekend and I am sure that similar situations took place all over the country. People, wrapped up in the spirit of the season, are buying gifts to hand out to those they care about. This is an occurrence that happens year after year and it seems even the worst recession since the Great Depression has not completely killed the sentiment.

I was so into the holidays some years back that I bought gifts that I knew I could not afford. Of course, I used my then generous credit lines to buy gifts for people around me and thought that I would just pay it off in the following months. It never really went according to plan. I still have credit card debt and am not really sure why I acted so irrationally with my money.

The pressures I felt were two-fold:

• There was the outside pressure to buy gifts since that was what was expected by my family and society as a whole. It is the nice thing to do, right? Then there is also the awkwardness of not buying presents when others are buying you some. That is a good way to lose friends I am sure.

• But I also felt the pressure to buy gifts from within. With certain people, I felt that they deserved to get presents from me. It was because of different reasons but they all deserved something just as a small token of my deep affection for them. Part of me also bought gifts with credit cards because I did not want the world to know that I was so irresponsible with my money throughout the entire year that I could not afford to pay for gifts with cash. I had to put up a front that everything was OK. But hiding fiscal irresponsibility with more irresponsible behavior is not OK. Not at all.

This year the pressures are still present. Everyone feels the weight of tradition. I still feel that I have to at least match other peoples gifts to me. And I still feel that some people close to me should not spend Christmas without a gift from me.

Did I NOT learn my lesson?

Actually I did. These are some very different times. So I will only use cash and stick to that budget. I have also trimmed the list of people getting gifts to the bare minimum. Everyone is suffering in one form or another in this economy and maybe it is time we take some of the pressure off each other. I, for one, am telling people to not buy me anything or that if they absolutely must get something — and they are not going to use credit cards — then to just get me Kiva certificates because I honestly do not need anything nor do I have want for anything. All my needs are met. Maybe in my small way I can relieve the pressure from those around me. Isn’t that a gift in itself?

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